


Five pieces of advice Teal'c gave Ronon on his first trip to Earth

by smilebackwards



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: 5 Things, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-07-07
Updated: 2009-07-07
Packaged: 2017-11-04 02:47:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/388837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smilebackwards/pseuds/smilebackwards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teal’c hands Ronon a square package. “Attend to this,” he advises.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five pieces of advice Teal'c gave Ronon on his first trip to Earth

**Author's Note:**

> Written for prompt [74.03](http://community.livejournal.com/sg1_five_things/178547.html#comments) at [](http://sg1-five-things.livejournal.com/profile)[**sg1_five_things**](http://sg1-five-things.livejournal.com/)

i.

Ronon is beside Teal’c in line for breakfast in the mess when a man with brown hair and a coffee mug emblazoned with the slogan ‘Decaf is the Antichrist’ in bold, blood-red letters cuts in and reaches for the coffee machine.

“Hey,” Ronon grumbles, annoyed.

The man gives a snarl worthy of McKay on his worst days and snatches the entire pot of coffee, the hot liquid sloshing angrily against the sides.

Ronon takes an unconscious step backwards.

“Do not antagonize Daniel Jackson before he has had his third cup of coffee,” Teal’c says seriously as the man stalks away.

 

ii.

Teyla has borrowed McKay’s credit card and is intent on finding something called a mall.

Ronon is accompanying her since he is reluctant to let her go off alone on an unfamiliar planet, and Sheppard and McKay had shown rather extreme and unexpected cowardice and practically run the opposite direction when Teyla had announced her intentions.

Before they leave, Teal’c appears at Ronon’s elbow. Ronon raises an eyebrow in question.

Teal’c cuts a strangely frightened look at the blonde colonel McKay has a crush on, standing across the room, and seems to shake off a memory. “Do not let her take you into Victoria’s Secret,” he says grimly.

 

iii.

“So, what is there to do on this planet?” Ronon asks Teal’c somewhat sulkily. He feels entitled to a bit of annoyance since Sheppard has just informed him that he needs some sort of permit to carry his gun in public and that even unarmed combat is heavily regulated.

Teal’c looks surprisingly sympathetic. Ronon thinks the slight upturn of his lips might almost be a smirk, but dismisses the idea.

“Jell-O wrestling,” Teal’c suggests sagely.

 

iv.

“When I go off base, everyone stares at me,” Ronon says.

Teal’c puts down his staff and surveys him critically. “Come with me,” he says, leading Ronon out of the gym. Ronon follows him through the halls to his quarters.

Teal’c digs methodically through a drawer. “I had a similar problem,” he admits, laying aside a stack of black t-shirts. “O’Neill advised me that perhaps I should wear a hat.”

Teal’c pulls out black knit cap and looks between it and Ronon. “I have found this hat most satisfactory, but I think, for your purpose, this one may be better suited,” he says, pulling out another hat, this one with an odd, stiff flap on one side.

It’s the stupidest looking hat Ronon’s ever seen, and if it was Sheppard offering it to him, he’d probably say so. But, if it was Sheppard offering it, it would be more likely to be a joke. Teal’c looks too sincere for Ronon _not_ to take the stupid-looking hat. He turns it over in his hands, still unwilling to go as far as putting it on.

“It is called a baseball cap,” Teal’c elaborates. “It is traditionally worn with the ‘bill’ facing forward, but I have observed that the younger males favor wearing it in an opposite manner.”

Reluctantly, Ronon flips the hat so the flap is at the back and pulls it down over his head. His hair makes it difficult, and creates odd lumps at the top of the cap. Teal’c nods approvingly.

When Ronon runs into Sheppard in the hallway, Sheppard doubles over laughing and says he’s going to bribe a tech for a copy of the security video to show McKay.

Ronon scowls and rips off the cap, stuffing it into his shoulder bag. He makes a note that not all of Teal’c’s advice is good.

 

v.

“Do you have a DVD player on Atlantis?” Teal’c asks as Ronon is getting ready to step back through the wormhole to Pegasus. He says the words 'DVD player' a little carefully, as if he is not quite certain it is the correct term.

“Sure,” Ronon shrugs. “Sheppard bought me all four Alien movies.”

Teal’c hands him a square package. “Attend to this,” he advises. “I have found this program oddly prophetic with regard to situations encountered offworld.”

Ronan turns the package around so he can read the Earth writing. STAR TREK. The cover shows a spaceship and two men, one of whom has oddly severe eyebrows and ears sort of like Sheppard.

“Okay,” Ronon says.

 


End file.
